I went down to her pussy. She was totally against till I swore for only a mouth work. Damn, I had never seen such a tight pussy in any porn till that time. I inserted one finger and she was high. I had to stop there and continue on licking. I asked her in a pleading voice that can I fuck her. And answer came “NO”. She dint get convinced as I dint have any condoms. She replied back, why hurry, chances will come. We had to end things there as she was not ready to give me a blow job neither she was allowing me an insertion. I requested here to jerk me off. That she did. I started planning for things. I went to the other corner of city and started looking for an empty medical store and with lot of convincing myself I bought a pack of condoms and came back and hide that in my book shelf. I contacted a friend of mine who was staying with his elder brother and his parents were working in Calcutta. Both these brothers were quite free and there were instances when they have fucked their. I don’t know. Seven thirty two in the PM time, the clock says. The moment of my birth and that just makes this feeling worse. I know there has to be more for me. It’s a uniquely selfish point of view. I’m a uniquely selfish person. Seven thirty two, and I tell myself to get up, get moving, and do something. But what? Always expectant, never inspired. I can’t sleep at night. I can barely sleep during the day. The restless feeling of impending destiny keeps me pacing, waiting for the door or window, or whatever the fuck… Waiting for opportunity to come and sweep me up, take me away. Bored intensity. I sometimes wonder if it would be more interesting to be insane. At least then I’d have company, real or imagined. I’m up pacing, now, and that’s how I get myself going. Move the legs, work the muscles, try to shake the feeling that I’m wading in oatmeal. I used to feel incomplete if I didn’t get nine or ten hours of sleep. Now I’m lucky to clear six and I wonder if that’s my problem. My.
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